At the edge

Just past the perimeter of the patio a Japanese maple displays an array of sparkling lights. It makes the darkness seem special. Summer will come with late nights, candles on the patio tables, conversation that reverberates into the dark gardens. Again, I feel saddened and mesmerized at the same time.

Many times, it happens: I get nostalgic as I look upon something ordinary. But, really, I know why – the ordinary became extraordinary with his passing. For the past 44 years I had moments about lights with Scott – putting them up for Christmas, holding each other beneath starry ones, strands for garden party, looking up at the moonlight. Again, I am traveling the skies of memories, searching for the secret star messaging me good night. All this just by glancing at the pretty lights on our tree, a tree we chose together and kept alive one very dry summer.

How will I ever get through summer, let alone June?

You will find me on the patio still, watching the light show.



March 2016

At the edge

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